Friday, January 30, 2009

So True...

This couldn't be more accurate.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Quotes for the Week #7

"Welcome to Shaolin Kung Fu. Ten thousand years of knowledge will be passed along to those who's parents have signed a permission slip. The rest of you have just purchased very expensive pajamas. Namaste." - Jeff "Comic Book Guy" Albertson

"There they are, the six sigmas themselves. Each of them embodies a pillar of the six sigma business philosophy; teamwork, insight, brutality, male enhancement, handshakefulness and play hard. Wish me luck." - Jack Donaghy

"There is no link between diabetes and diet. That's a white myth, Ken, like Larry Bird and Colorado." - Tracy Jordan

"Well buddy, heeeere we go, bottom of the ninth, baaases loaded. Oh yeah, it's winning time, you magnificent son of a bitch. You go in there and show those turds who's boss. Make mommy proud of her big boy because he's the best. Just do it. Is it in you? I'm lovin' it. You're Jack Donaghy, titan, maverick, lover." - Jack Donaghy

Bye Bye Herm

Warning!: There will be at least one expletive in this post.

Scott Pioli, the new Kansas City Chiefs GM, fired head coach Herm Edwards on Friday... good FUCKING riddance! After the 2007 season, most Kansas Citians were ready to call for Herm's head (including myself). The 2008 season was the worst in team history even though the team spent the entire decade of the 80s being absolutely horrible. It was quite obvious that the city had enough Herm when the very mention of his name induced 80,000 people to begin booing at a non-sporting event (Obama rally prior to the election). Finally, with the ousting of former GM Carl Peterson, the Chiefs can take a new direction. I am just holding my breath that Pioli doesn't bring in Shanahan (former Broncos' coach) or Iowa's Kirk Ferentz. Those are the last two coaches I would ever want to see in on the Chiefs' sideline. As long as Herm is gone, I am happier with the direction the team is going. Go Chiefs!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

President Obama

Today was one of those days that makes me happy to work for a university. There is always someone that possesses the technology and ability to convert a projector into a television to watch something like... the presidential inauguration. So, instead of just letting the DVR at home record the event and watching it hours after being exposed to the online news sources, or trying to organize a group of people to go somewhere with a television... people can just gather in the conference room with their lunches and watch it live with colleagues.

President Obama has sufficiently proven himself as, quite possibly, the finest orator of our current generation of politicians. Now that Obama has been sworn into the office and Bush is (finally) on his way back to Texas, we will actually see what kind of leader Obama will be. It is time for the news media's talking head divisions (on both sides of aisle) to cease their mindless prattling and let Obama's actions dictate the quality of his presidency. The next four years will be an extremely challenging time. Hopefully, Obama will be able to take the momentum he has generated and turn it into something positive in a time that the future looks as bleak as it ever has.

I will close this post with two quotes from The Daily Show's Assif Mandvi about the expectations of Obama's inaugural address, then one from address itself. While the speech was quite good, I'm not sure it lived up to Mandvi's projection.

"I expect Obama to deliver a speech that will make 'The Gettysburg Address' seem like a series of simian grunts. After tomorrow the 'I Have a Dream' speech will be known as the 'I Have a Really Bad Speech' speech because compared to Obama's speech, King's speech will suck." - Assif Mandvi

"Tomorrow's speech with its sweeping themes and majestic rhetoric, will make sweet, sweet love to the English language. And in so doing, will humiliate Homer and expose Shakespeare as an untalented hack." - Assif Mandvi

"Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint." - Barack Obama (from today's inaugural address)

Monday, January 19, 2009

Quotes for the Week #6

"No. I meant we build an actual photo shop, or a chain of photo shops. We each manage one, let time pass. Eventually, Maddox has to have her film developed. She comes in, we all hop out, yell 'Surprise!' and beat her to death with pool cues." - Janitor

"Do you know anything about boxing?" "I wear boxers, I, uh, got my refrigerator from a box. I'm as qualified as anybody else, right?" - Miss Plumber and Gary Brooks

"When is modern science going to find a cure for a woman's mouth?" - Dr. Leo Spaceman

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Quote(s) for the Week #5

"The solution to all our problems is staring you right in the face and it can't even see you." - Barry Zuckerhorn

"Justice cannot be blind, Doc. He's got a handle and everything." - Michael Bluth

"I hate disappointing just one person and I really hate disappointing everyone, but I love Burlington Coat Factory. If you go in there with $645, you are literally a king." - Michael Scott

"I think you'll find being my mother's nurse a mixed bag. When she's in a foul mood it can be horribly unpleasant, but at other times, she is... asleep." - Jack Donaghy

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Grandma Skaff

The Skaff family matriarch passed away last night, just one week shy of her 91st birthday. She was the type of person that would give you a hug the first time she met you, welcome you to her home and provide you with enough food to make you feel full well into the next day. While she may have been the most stubborn person I have ever known, without that quality, I would never have been born (her doctor told her not to have a second child, but she wouldn't listen, then had my dad).

I am very thankful that I chose to attend Iowa State University after finishing high school because that gave me nine years spent in close proximity with her that I would have never gotten should I have chosen to go elsewhere. I know that she appreciated having me close and seeing her and seeing her happy has meant a lot to me.

There was nothing she wanted more than to be surrounded by family and friends, and to be able to take care of as many people as possible. She grew up taking care of her family, cooking the meals, making the beds, working on the farm... all while going to school. She dedicated her entire life to ensuring other people's happiness. There are very few people like her in this world and she deserved the admiration that everyone had for her.

I love you, Grandma. You will be missed.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Quote(s) for the Week #4

"I really don't know. Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. He was our miracle baby and I was just to burnt out on raising you guys to care. So, he turned out a little... a soft, you know, a little doughy." - George Bluth, Sr.

"Wayne Jarvis, attorney at law and it is my responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office." - Wayne Jarvis

Bonus, completely unrelated quote

"You outta smile more Tony. You've got to enjoy yourself. Every day above ground is a good day." - Mel Bernstein