Saturday, August 21, 2010

Quotes for the Week #84

"Yeah, I have to say, I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition. Apparently, there is no law of diminishing returns with space poop." - Dr. Sheldon Cooper

"And folks the system is clearly working. As Retired General Robert Vines says, quote 'because it lacks a synchronizing process... we consequently can't effectively assess whether it is making us more safe', which means it's making us more safe. You see, if our enemies infiltrate our spy networks, they, like us, will have no f#cking idea what is going on. So, I'm calling on Congress to make our intelligence system even larger, with a new agency to monitor our existing agencies, the National Central Homeland Surveillance Bureau of Intelligence Agencies Agency, the NCHSBIAA, or Enchisbiaah, whose great seal features an eagle looking up its own ass." - Stephen Colbert

"The next thing I know, I'm running for my life. And all I could think was, if something were to ever happen to me... how sad I'd be, you know?" - George 'Gob' Bluth II

"Suck my dick, if I had one. I have to pee." - Lori D.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Quotes for the Week #83

"United we stand, divided... go f#ck yourself." - Stephen Colbert

Normally, there would just be quotes from this, but the entire segment was worth quoting...

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Alpha Dog of the Week - David H. Brooks
Colbert Report Full Episodes2010 ElectionFox News