"OK, here's what I'm going to do. Tomorrow morning, you'll be served breakfast in bed, like a queen... or a quadriplegic." - Stan Smith
What's Jaegermeister? - "Um, well, you know how in a fairy tale there's always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and the guys start kissing her. Well, this is like that except you don't wake up in a castle, you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation." - Phil Dunphy
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Quotes for the Week #62
"What? I can be violent. I scratch." - Bridget "Killa" Biersmith
"When you guys first came in, we were as wholesome and healthy as the family in The Brady Bunch and now we're as dysfunctional and incestuous as the cast of The Brady Bunch." - Abed
"I'm impressed, Raj. Those are cogent and reasonable conditions. I reject them all." - Dr. Sheldon Cooper
"That kid's gonna be a star. He's a young 'the Asian guy' from Lost." - Abed
"I am taking myself out of the equation entirely. I scheduled a root canal for February 14th, Jack. I will spend half the day in twilight sleep, then I will go home and watch the Lifetime Original Movie, My Step Son is My Cyber Husband." - Liz Lemon
"When you guys first came in, we were as wholesome and healthy as the family in The Brady Bunch and now we're as dysfunctional and incestuous as the cast of The Brady Bunch." - Abed
"I'm impressed, Raj. Those are cogent and reasonable conditions. I reject them all." - Dr. Sheldon Cooper
"That kid's gonna be a star. He's a young 'the Asian guy' from Lost." - Abed
"I am taking myself out of the equation entirely. I scheduled a root canal for February 14th, Jack. I will spend half the day in twilight sleep, then I will go home and watch the Lifetime Original Movie, My Step Son is My Cyber Husband." - Liz Lemon
Friday, February 12, 2010
Quotes for the Week #61
"It's like a retarded version of Asperger's." - Dr. Kasra "Kas" Ramyar
"This is actually a cause I can relate to. A female mentor would have been very valuable for a young Veronica, who was bursting with potential, yet vulnerable, like a fawn in the woods... but tough, like a fawn in the woods with a machine gun." - Veronica Palmer
"This is actually a cause I can relate to. A female mentor would have been very valuable for a young Veronica, who was bursting with potential, yet vulnerable, like a fawn in the woods... but tough, like a fawn in the woods with a machine gun." - Veronica Palmer
Friday, February 5, 2010
Quotes for the Week #60
"It's hard to keep bridges burned, especially when they keep sending their contractors over onto my shit." - Bobbie "Killa B" Burgee
"I just use my tail to plug my other butt hole." - Bobbie "Killa B" Burgee
"Ah, I love teenage girls. It's all ahead of them, you know. They haven't turned into bitches yet." - Brian Griffin
"I just use my tail to plug my other butt hole." - Bobbie "Killa B" Burgee
"Ah, I love teenage girls. It's all ahead of them, you know. They haven't turned into bitches yet." - Brian Griffin
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Quotes for the Week #59
"Why do it mediocre, if you can do it badass?" - Bobbie "Killa B" Burgee
"If my ears are going to be raped, I'm going to be drunk when it happens." - Matt "Nemesis" Kinney
"I think he gained fifteen pounds of douche." - Dr. Andrew Skaff
"Justin is hip. Pawnee is the opposite of hip. People in this town are just now getting into Nirvana. I don't have the heart to tell them what's going to happen to Kurt Cobain in 1994." - Tom Haverford
"See, when you open new doors there is a price to pay. Now, imagine tonight, you look under your bed, and lo and behold, you find a monster and you are immediately eaten. Now, if you hadn't looked for the monster, you wouldn't have found him. You'd still be happy in your beds, instead of being slowly digested in the stomach sac of the creature. But with any luck, your sisters or your brothers might have heard your screams and your endeavor will serve as a valuable lesson for them." - Dr. Walter Bishop
"If my ears are going to be raped, I'm going to be drunk when it happens." - Matt "Nemesis" Kinney
"I think he gained fifteen pounds of douche." - Dr. Andrew Skaff
"Justin is hip. Pawnee is the opposite of hip. People in this town are just now getting into Nirvana. I don't have the heart to tell them what's going to happen to Kurt Cobain in 1994." - Tom Haverford
"See, when you open new doors there is a price to pay. Now, imagine tonight, you look under your bed, and lo and behold, you find a monster and you are immediately eaten. Now, if you hadn't looked for the monster, you wouldn't have found him. You'd still be happy in your beds, instead of being slowly digested in the stomach sac of the creature. But with any luck, your sisters or your brothers might have heard your screams and your endeavor will serve as a valuable lesson for them." - Dr. Walter Bishop
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Downfall of the Democratic Party
This is more of The Daily Show's pure hilarity. It is not necessary to watch the entire clip, just start around the 4:45 mark. Aasif Mandvi is comedy gold. Gold!
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Blues Clueless | ||||
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