"Why do it mediocre, if you can do it badass?" - Bobbie "Killa B" Burgee
"If my ears are going to be raped, I'm going to be drunk when it happens." - Matt "Nemesis" Kinney
"I think he gained fifteen pounds of douche." - Dr. Andrew Skaff
"Justin is hip. Pawnee is the opposite of hip. People in this town are just now getting into Nirvana. I don't have the heart to tell them what's going to happen to Kurt Cobain in 1994." - Tom Haverford
"See, when you open new doors there is a price to pay. Now, imagine tonight, you look under your bed, and lo and behold, you find a monster and you are immediately eaten. Now, if you hadn't looked for the monster, you wouldn't have found him. You'd still be happy in your beds, instead of being slowly digested in the stomach sac of the creature. But with any luck, your sisters or your brothers might have heard your screams and your endeavor will serve as a valuable lesson for them." - Dr. Walter Bishop
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