"This bar runs on trash, dude. This bar is totally green that way (...) I'm recycling the trash, to heat the bar, lots of smoke for the bar, giving the bar the good smoky smell that we all like (...) Oh, I'm sorry, I could put the trash in a landfill where it's going to stay for a million years, or I can burn it up, get a nice smoky smell in here and let that smoke go into the sky where it turns into stars." - Charlie Kelly
"These are crabs, fresh local Delaware run-off crabs. Yeah, there's a pretty bad sewage run-off, but, you know, crabs is sewage proof." - Charlie Kelley
"On to the matter at hand. We are getting plowed in the ass by the oil companies and the gas companies, with their ten gallon hats and their rotten ass-plowing hearts. So, as the brains of this organization, I came up with a plan. It involves pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple asses and doing a little plowing of our own. Pow! Not gay sex. We're going to solve the gas crisis." - Mac
"Excuse me. Wolverine Origin miniseries issue two, page 22, retractable bone claws. If you people spent less time thinking about sex and more time concentrating on comic books, we'd have far fewer of these embarrassing moments." - Dr. Sheldon Cooper
"No, Robin's deep-seated need for attention can be traced back to her father's emotional distance and no amount of success will ever make up for what she truly needs which is six simple words from her dad 'Robin, I'm proud of you, eh?'" - Barney Stinson
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