"Is it true, Mr. Donaghey, that your executives routinely used company helicopters to dry their home tennis courts?" - Devon Banks
"Yes and no. Yes, that did happen and no, it didn't not happen." - Jack Donaghey
"So, you talked to Tammy. What's it like to stare into the eye of Satan's butthole?" - Ron Swanson
"Bro, rape? I wasn't talking about raping your wife. I was talking about making love to her sweetly while she sleeps, and I was going to do it for you, you son of a bi... alright fine I won't do it." - Dennis Reynolds
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