"You are the one who's shouting, Six. And the louder a man shouts, the more profoundly he's wrong." - Two
"I am brave. Rollercoasters, love em. Scary movies, I've seen Ghostbusters like seven times. I drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So, yeah, I'm pretty much not afraid of anything... except clowns. Never shared that with the fam, so shhh, do have an image to maintain. I am not really sure where the fear comes from. My mother says it's because when I was a kid, I found a dead clown in the woods. But, who knows?" - Phil Dunphy
"All commands will come through the headphones. Once you've been given to put on the headphones, do not remove them under any circumstances. If you do, you may die a gruesome and horrible death. Thank you for your attention and have a nice day." - Dr. Walter Bishop
"Dude, you have to stop doing this. You keep changing your mind. The dead horse just called and said 'quit beating the shit out of me'." - Nate
"We're trying to give you the Christmas spirit here, dickhole." - Deandre "Sweet Dee" Reynolds
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