"The pitcher has to find out if the hitter is timid, and if he is timid, he has to remind the hitter he's timid." - Don Drysdale
"If this were Russia... yeah, sure, everybody would go to one Santa and there would be a line around the block and once you sat on her lap and she asked you what you wanted you would say probably 'freedom'. At which point, the KGB would arrest you and send you to Siberia. It's a good thing Russia doesn't exist anymore." - Michael Scott
"OK, OK, look, don't worry, we're going to have Christmas. We raised our kids right. Whoever did it'll come forward or the other two will rat 'em out." - Phil Dunphy
"Hey, hey hey. Check it out, check it out. Huh, huh? What did I tell you? Hot girl, Volkswagen Jetta. It's a law, like water or dinosaurs." - Taco
"What about the civility in our nation in the last ten years? I think this has been a wonderful decade for civility and anyone who disagrees with me can gargle my mansack." - Stephen Colbert
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