"And you have never once seen me wash my testicles either, but that doesn't mean I don't do it every Friday." - Charlie Kelly
"So, let me tell you a little lesson, buddy. The cream always rises to the top and I'm about to show the white hot cream of an eighth grade boy." - Charlie Kelly
"This must be how a baby lion feels... when its mom yells at a receptionist to get its medial records." - Phil
"Ugh, he takes the two worst parts of Christmas, giving and rules, and combines them. The whole thing was so confusing I ended up with my own crappy gift back... like I need two copies of 'Over Sixty Vixens'." - Frank Rossitano
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