Saturday, December 26, 2009

Quotes for the Week #54

"Ray's had it pretty rough lately. First he went crazy from WoW withdrawal and stole my car and then his car broke down when he was driving out of town. Some would call that 'karma', I call it 'getting what you deserve for the actions that you committed'. I wish there was a word for that." - Alex

"Frank, huh? I'm gonna skin that son of a bitch and wear his face. Anyway, what's up?" - Bingo

Friday, December 18, 2009

Quotes for the Week #53

"The pitcher has to find out if the hitter is timid, and if he is timid, he has to remind the hitter he's timid." - Don Drysdale

"If this were Russia... yeah, sure, everybody would go to one Santa and there would be a line around the block and once you sat on her lap and she asked you what you wanted you would say probably 'freedom'. At which point, the KGB would arrest you and send you to Siberia. It's a good thing Russia doesn't exist anymore." - Michael Scott

"OK, OK, look, don't worry, we're going to have Christmas. We raised our kids right. Whoever did it'll come forward or the other two will rat 'em out." - Phil Dunphy

"Hey, hey hey. Check it out, check it out. Huh, huh? What did I tell you? Hot girl, Volkswagen Jetta. It's a law, like water or dinosaurs." - Taco

"What about the civility in our nation in the last ten years? I think this has been a wonderful decade for civility and anyone who disagrees with me can gargle my mansack." - Stephen Colbert

Friday, December 11, 2009

Quotes for the Week #52

"I want more than your best, Steve. For once, I want you to do... fine." - Stan Smith

"Mac, I'm going to stop you right there. First of all, your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion. Secondly, I know you're trying to manipulate me and it's not going to work. Get your hand off my shoulder, because I have a fatty to burn." - Deandre "Sweet Dee" Reynolds

"That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad." - Dr. Sheldon Cooper

Friday, December 4, 2009

Quotes for the Week #51

"You are the one who's shouting, Six. And the louder a man shouts, the more profoundly he's wrong." - Two

"I am brave. Rollercoasters, love em. Scary movies, I've seen Ghostbusters like seven times. I drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So, yeah, I'm pretty much not afraid of anything... except clowns. Never shared that with the fam, so shhh, do have an image to maintain. I am not really sure where the fear comes from. My mother says it's because when I was a kid, I found a dead clown in the woods. But, who knows?" - Phil Dunphy

"All commands will come through the headphones. Once you've been given to put on the headphones, do not remove them under any circumstances. If you do, you may die a gruesome and horrible death. Thank you for your attention and have a nice day." - Dr. Walter Bishop

"Dude, you have to stop doing this. You keep changing your mind. The dead horse just called and said 'quit beating the shit out of me'." - Nate

"We're trying to give you the Christmas spirit here, dickhole." - Deandre "Sweet Dee" Reynolds