Quotes for the Week #75

"Now, you listen to me, Mr. Grand High Poobah of Upper Buttcrack, I'm just about half-past give a shit with your fun and games." - Delores Claiborne

"I insist that all women who have hysterics in my drawing room call me by my Christian name." - Vera Donovan

"Stan, you have the undeserved ego of Jeremy Piven, the annoying self-righteousness of Sean Penn and the unbearable hypocrisy of Rush Limbaugh. What I'm trying to say is, you're almost as bad a person as Rachael Ray." - Francine Smith

"I don't know, I figure people are entitled to their hobbies and I'm entitled to think those people are creepy." - Raylan Givens

Quotes for the Week #74

"I'm no good for you right now, Steve. You are so frustrating. I'm gonna go down to Sea World and punch a dolphin in the face." - Francine Smith

"Potassium bromate? This supermarket is trying to kill us. You, potassium bromate, do you know what that is? It is known to induce renal cell tumors, mesotheliomas of the peritoneum. You know what you're putting into our bodies? Death. Delicious strawberry flavored death." - Dr. Walter Bishop

"You know how you feel like when it's Christmas Eve and you want to just go to sleep so you can wake up and open your presents? I just want to go to sleep so I can wake up and open his face." - Quinton "Rampage" Jackson

"I don't really like to say I hate people. Hate is such a strong word. But, I dislike that mother f*cker." - "Sugar" Rashad Evans

Quotes for the Week #73

"If you want people to put the best face on something, why would you get two people who have probably never cut the face off of anything in their lives?" - Dwight Schrute

"April was supposed to be the moat that kept the citizen/barbarians away from Swanson Castle, instead she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face." - Ron Swanson

"So, you know about Paul's act? How do you think we met? Paul won a Jenna Maroney impersonator contest of which I finished fourth." - Jenna Maroney