"If you want people to put the best face on something, why would you get two people who have probably never cut the face off of anything in their lives?" - Dwight Schrute
"April was supposed to be the moat that kept the citizen/barbarians away from Swanson Castle, instead she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face." - Ron Swanson
"So, you know about Paul's act? How do you think we met? Paul won a Jenna Maroney impersonator contest of which I finished fourth." - Jenna Maroney
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