Monday, April 11, 2011

Quotes for the Week #97

"I love Dick Morris.  It's like if cholesterol and bile had a baby... and let Harvey Fierstein do the voice-over." - Jon Stewart

"Yes, Obama duped young people by not doing everything single thing they want.  So now, they'll all vote republican.  It's like, when I want some bread, I will not settle for half a loaf, I will instead have a muffin made of broken glass." - Stephen Colbert

"Oh honey, don't take this the wrong way, but I have almost no faith in you." - Claire Dunphy

"What?  This is like O. Henry and Alanis Morrisette had a baby and named it 'this exact situation'." - Sterling Archer

"And I love that I have an erection... that didn't involve homeless people." - Dr. Krieger

"Maybe you just want to fly the plane yourself.  Well, good luck pressing 'takeoff' then 'autopilot' then 'land'." - Carol

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