More Comics = Lack of Creativity

The "post doc" series over at PHD Comics has probably wrapped up. I find them incredibly amusing because of their accuracy. Below are the next three strips in this series followed by confirmation of the facts contained within the panels from a highly reputable source.




"Post docs - (My current rank) Should be the most productive members of the group. They have already received their PhD, but are, generally, shortly out of school and still accustomed to the graduate student life - i.e. they are grad students that don't have classes, but are expected to work long hours. Post docs are paid in a similar manner to graduate students with one exception - grad students receive a stipend and their tuition is paid to the school by the boss, while post docs, basically, have the same base salary, but the tuition money is paid to them. Realistically, the boss is receiving a highly trained graduate student, without having to pay any more out of pocket than having a first year graduate student. Generally, post docs are considered to be extremely underpaid and are, more or less, in a state of indentured servitude, paying their dues until they get a real job. Generally, post docs stay for 1-3 years then move on to another post doc, or begin an actual career as a boss in another institution if they have a good enough publication record."

- A very reliable, trustworthy, highly worthy source for factual material... me! Bwahahaha! (see post Vacation?)

KC Sports Update

I am ready to declare the 2008 Chiefs' season officially over today. Carl Peterson and the rest of the management should all be run out of the business for having written off the entire season four months before it will even begin. The one bright spot from last season's dismal performance was the effectiveness of defensive end Jared Allen. Today, the Chiefs have traded their star to Minnesota for three draft picks. I realize that, potentially, those draft picks could be long term gems. However, with the draft decisions the Chiefs have made in the last several seasons... what's the point? None of them will pan out because they never do. Peterson has lost touch with reality. The one thing this city had going for it (athletically) was the Kansas City Chiefs. Now the city is watching as they revert to a laughing stock they were in the 1980s. Enough is enough.

All of the optimism for the Kansas City Royals that I had developed... is now gone. They still can't hit and now their pitching has failed (they've been outscored 46-12 in their last trip through their pitching rotation). It may be a little bit premature (not the case with the Chiefs - that decision isn't remotely premature), but the 2008 Royals season is likely over. It's the Royals' way... bring back hope, just to crush it. Here we go again.

Thankful For Being A Cyclone

Wow... I've never been so nervous in my life. I moved across the state line six months ago, but I've been reluctant to change over my car registration and drivers license. This isn't because I have some great tie to the state of Kansas (because I do not), but for a few stupid reasons including that I had renewed my car tags one month before I officially moved, the Missouri required vehicle inspection, the thought of spending a day at the DMV and my dislike for paying for any of the ridiculousness associated with the process.

About a month ago, I found out that my brake lights were no longer functioning. Being a somewhat dangerous problem, I decided to take care of this and start the whole process - get the car fixed, inspected, registered, retitled, blah blah blah. I get the inspection - it needs new front brakes, but the brake lights require the ordering of a part from out of state. The mechanic agreed that it would be acceptable to just take care of everything at one time, so when the part arrives - I'll bring the car back. They tell me the part would take about a week to get, then everything would be fixed the following day. Three weeks later - the part has yet to arrive. I call this week and finally, the part has arrived and the car can be taken in on Wednesday morning and repaired the same day.

And now the reason for my extreme nervousness. It's Tuesday night and the car is going in the next morning. I'm returning from Megan's around midnight after consuming a few beverages (I was not inebriated, but had a few drinks) ... driving through one of the not-so-glamorous sections of town between our two residences, when a large vehicle runs up behind me. Since I have no brake lights, I try my best to keep distance between the drivers behind me because I don't trust people's reaction time without the warning lights - so I speed up a little ( it is a two lane road - one each direction). When the road widens to four lanes, I slow down and change lanes, the vehicle follows. I turn where I normally turn to continue my route home - the vehicle follows. I am not terribly happy, knowing what neighborhood I am in and (according to the local news) the types of events that can occur there.

And then... the lights come on. It was a police van. And here I am, speeding (according to him), driving a car with no brake lights, an out of date (in terms of address) driver's license and registration, an address on my insurance card that doesn't match any of the other addresses and myself possibly smelling of alcohol and nervous as hell because I thought I was being followed by some "hooligan" through a bad neighborhood. Now he's asking me a bunch of questions and I'm bumbling through them because of my nervousness. As he takes my license back to his van, another police car approaches stops to chat with my officer and I'm getting even more nervous. What the hell is going to happen? Are they going to fucking destroy me? Write me a half dozen tickets? Arrest me?

He approaches my window again, pauses to look at the back of my car, then completes his approach and hands me back my license. Here is the final dialog:

Officer: "Is this your vehicle?"
Me: "Yeah." (said in an extremely slow, why would I be driving this car if it weren't mine attitude)
Officer: "Where did you purchase the car?"
Me: "Ames." (same slow - where the fuck is this going? - thought process)
Officer: "Did you go to Iowa State?"
Me: "Yes."
Officer: "Today's your lucky day. So did I. Get on the highway, drive the speed limit and go home."
Me: "Yes, sir. Thank you."


Jesus Christ. Needless to say, I drove the speed limit and went home. Then I got out some ice cream and sat down and watched some TV and tried to relax. So much for trying to keep my blood pressure down. I think I'll wait about a week before checking that again. Damn. I don't think he let me off because I went to ISU, but at that moment, I was very thankful for being a Cyclone.

Tag This

Well, I've been tagged by my sister (in-law), Kim, (whom everyone knows from over at ilaxstudio) to fill out the "Fluff Five Meme". Without ado, here are my answers.

5 Things You Found In Your Bag

1. Laptop - can't live without it: home, work - it's nearly always with me
   
2. External hard drive - with copies of hundreds of random tv shows and thousands of mp3s
   
3. My horribly incomplete lab notebook
   
4. Stamps
   
5. mp3 player
   

5 Favorite Things In Your Room

1. Big screen TV
   
2. Xbox360
   
3. Coffee table
   
4. Soul-devouring couch
5. Recliner
   

5 Things You Are Currently Into

1. Megan
   
2. 2008 baseball season
   
3. Becoming more healthy
   
4. Video games - mainly MLB 2K8 for the time being
   
5. Blogging
   

5 Things You Have Always Wanted To Do

1. Have a "real" job
   
2. Travel outside the U.S.
   
3. Visit all of the major league baseball parks and Cooperstown
   
4. Rock star, baby... be a rock star - I don't like my chances
   
5. Become physically involved in politics - a more likely possibility
   

5 People You Want To Tag

1. Megan
   
2. Jim
   
3. Lori
   
4. Steven - yes, he's been previously tagged by Kim, but he should be tagged often
   
5. Mike Wehrman - why aren't you writing a blog?
   

Post Doc Summation In Four Panels

PHD Comics totally nails the concept of the post doc position - more money, less paperwork, very little respect.

More 2008 Presidential Election Nonsense

After watching the Democratic debate last night with the lovely, brilliant Ms. Florance, I decided to revisit the post I had written a couple months ago.

After checking back with the CNN money tracking feature (here), the total taxpayer money raised during the run-up to the 2008 Presidential Election has now reached $777 million. That means $209 million has been collected in the last six weeks (see 2008 Presidential Campaign to Waste American Money). If anyone is interested, that more than 4 million dollars that gets tossed into the garbage can every single day. And for what? McCain is just sitting back (collecting money he doesn't have to spend until it could make a difference) and watching the Democrats collect and spend copious amounts of money to destroy each other. Because McCain is able to do this, his image is improving - he doesn't need to say anything negative so he will be viewed as likable and friendly, as Hillary and Obama will be viewed as wolves.

There is no solution for the Democratic Party until the DNC has been completed. Both candidates have remaining funds in the campaigns. Hillary should not bow out because she still is not mathematically eliminated. Obama can't stop because he's ahead in the electoral vote count. If the party steps in and makes a decision, then it's against the concept of democratically choosing candidates. This is just another example of the Democratic Party finding a way to shoot itself in its collective foot. This election should be gift wrapped for the Democrats, as was the case in 2004, but I see little to no chance of wrestling away the executive branch from the Republicans.

Until this all plays out, the American people have to watch the drivel that was the Democratic debate this week. The first two-thirds of the debate was simply expanding on and attempting to correct statements that had been made the campaign trail. Aren't the important issues in any election focused around policy? Maybe that's too much to ask from the media. Luckily for me, I was only half paying attention the debate. I have some difficulty focusing on television in the presence of a very attractive woman.

Why I Can't Be A Professor

I have wanted to post about the PHD (piled higher and deeper) Comics site for quite some time, but haven't gotten around to it. The writer/artist Jorge Cham has completely nailed the intricacies of being a graduate student in this era. Anyone that wants the gist of pursuing an advanced degree without actually doing so should take a look. Anyone that has been in grad school should take a look. Anyone that has no interest in knowing what being a grad student is like (but enjoys humor) should take a look. It is worth the visit. PHD Comics recently crossed the 1000 comic strip milestone, so there is plenty of reading to do in the archives for anyone interested.

For those grad students or former grad students, I'm sure that all of you can identify with one of the characters and can probably identify someone from your own department that corresponds to each of the characters from the strip. The graduate school experience is apparently universal no matter what University you attended.

The strip that appears below is the exact reason that I would rather not take the academic route for my choice of career path. While I find this strip hilarious (because it is so freaking accurate), I don't think I could pull off the demeanor of the "boss" in seriousness. Anyway... enjoy!