Monday, April 27, 2009

Quotes for the Week #20

"Hey, where are my Sno Balls? I was going to go the gym later, so I deserve a treat." - Liz Lemon

"Tommyboy. Let me tell you something, Tom. You suck at Scrabble. You're worse than my ex-wife and she's terrible at Scrabble. And she's a bitch. Her name is Terri Swanson and she's a serious bitch." - Ron Swanson

"I'm not an idiot. I know Tom has been losing to me on purpose. But I like Tom. He doesn't do a lot of work around here. He shows zero initiative. He's not a team player. He's never wanting to go the extra mile. Tom is exactly what I'm looking for in a government employee." - Ron Swanson

"These are our demands. This is what we want. Our balls are in your court." - Michael Scott

"Avast there mateys. Do you have a thirst for adventure on the high seas of life? Are you sick and tired of your parents and teachers telling you what to do all the time? Then join Captain Cartman's Perfect Pirate Club, argh. Just imagine it, me hearties, a life without rules, without homework and chores. You can live the pirate life in Somalia, me friends, even Kyle said so. The first official pirate meetin will be four P.M. today at Kevin Stoley's house. There will be refreshments served, so make sure your mom goes to the grocery store, Kevin. So, come one, come all. The invitation is open to any student who wants to be a pirate and who isn't Jewish, Mexican or Ginger. Argh!" - Eric Cartman

"Even Eddie Alvarez knows nothing strengthens a team more jack-booting a wedding with a tactical unit and putting a New York-style hurt on the bride." - Det. Eddie Alvarez

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