Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Quotes for the Week #28

"Earlier today, President Obama spoke at a town hall meeting in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Yeah, half of the crowd had never seen an African American person and the other half had never seen a skinny person." - Conan O'Brien

"My grandma hits harder than you and she's dead." - ODB

"Farrah, the first time I ever saw you, I thought 'oh my god, that is one of the whoriest looking whores I have ever seen in my life' and I've seen a lot of whores, because I'm a rock star and a, you know, I've seen ladies in the front row look at me with that super whory look on their face and you look whorier than all of them. And that really means something." - Norm MacDonald

"Yes, God forbid a Washington bureaucrat replaces my beloved Connecticut insurance bureaucrat, or worse yet that anything replaces the health insurance plan I had before I was 32 and actually qualified for real health insurance. I believe my plan then was called Excedrin PM and Colt 45." - Jon Stewart

"In a recent interview, Heidi Montag said that when she wants advice on something important, she calls Kim Kardashian. Yeah and folks, if you'd like to recreate their conversation at home, hand your phone to a monkey and tell it to call your stapler." - Conan O'Brien


Anonymous said...

I love this joke so much. Just brilliant. Conan's doing a good job.

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