"We're gonna build a new settlement. We'll have a happy new life and we'll have equal rights for all - expect blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Jews, gays, women, Muslims... um everybody who's not a white man. And I mean white white, so no Italians, no Polish. Just people from Ireland, England and Scotland, but only certain parts of Scotland and Ireland. Just full blooded whites. No, you know what? Not even whites. Nobody gets any rights. Ahhh, America." - Peter Griffin
"There used to be this huge speed bump in the center of town. It was insane, so I decided I wanted to do something about it and I got it lowered two inches. Apparently what I can achieve in government can literally be measured." - Mark Brendanawicz
"Not you, not some stupid piece of paper can stop me from being Wrenchy Bench. Alright. You're going to have to pry that costume from my dead, cold, slightly overweight body. Hahaha, screw you, Brandon." - Bert "Sock" Wysocki
"Well I'm going to fix this. I'm going to get Kenneth his money back, and for you, I'm going to hit Gavin Volure harder than a bottle of whiskey at an Irish wake." - Jack Donaghey
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