"The pressures of public life has made me lose sight of what is really and truly important... and that is drinking. I love alcohol and I need to recommit myself to the consuming of it. After this is over, I intend to check in to the Super 8 motel off on I95 and I'll have an entire case of Wild Turkey. Thank you. That is all. I love drinking." - Sen Dave Tillis (the nations first openly drunk senator)
"Absolutely, but it's not your fault. You are genetically predisposed to compete against other women for the attention of strong, powerful men like myself, or others very similar to me, for example: Hercules, The Highlander, or a... God." - Jack Donaghey
"That won't make any sense. An urgent marketing message? Oh, my God, the bobbleheads aren't stupid enough." - Ben Donovan
"Who am I, Count Bullets-ula? Like Dracula? That was bad. Come back to me, I can do better." - Sterling Archer
"There is no explanation. There is no excuse... I just want to know why?" - Cameron Tucker
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