Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Resolutions

In accordance with standard New Year’s practices, I have decided (in conjunction with the author of ilaxstudio) to craft a series of resolutions for 2008. The resolutions that follow are completely real and should be read with no sarcasm whatsoever. Additionally, the post is the first of many with the aid of the new official creative consultant (Megan).

1. I resolve to put on 40 pounds. Initially, I will attempt to add 40 pounds of muscle. However, if I am having difficulties achieving this, I will resort to alterative methods, including two daily commutes to Go Chicken Go – once in the morning for the new A.I.O. breakfast burrito* and once in the afternoon for the 21-piece bucket of savory goodness.

2. I resolve to finally watch the entire library of the great thespian Steven Segal in chronological order.

3. I resolve to complete my screenplay, the long awaited sequel to Spaceballs – entitled Spaceballs Zwei (scripted entirely in German).

4. I resolve to learn to play the electric guitar so that I can form a Flock of Seagulls tribute band that only plays B-52’s music.

5. I resolve to stop creating fake resolutions.


*The A.I.O. breakfast burrito contains all internal organs (livers/gizzards/hearts) with macaroni and cheese, eggs and is wrapped in a fried mashed potato tortilla.

7 comments:

kilax said...

Okay, your list definitely smashed mine, as I predicted it would!

Notice your #1 and my #2 are very similar? I think I got a head start on that goal this weekend. Yuck. Time to do a bit of detox.

The whole list cracked me up, but I think #2 was the best! And there should be a Spaceballs trilogy!

So when is Megan going to start her own blog? ;)

Andrew Skaff said...

Making up this list was a lot of fun, I'm glad that we decided to do it. I especially liked that our disclaimers were completely opposite - yours says that it's a joke, and mine says that it's completely serious.

My personal favorite was the Flock of Seagulls tribute band. Who the hell wants to hear that? Especially if we are only going to play songs from another band.

We need more joint postings, it keeps the creativity flowing. Are you smelling a monthly crossover segment?

Gina (Mannyed) said...

Oh, you Skaffs and your questionable resolutions! :o)

kilax said...

I smell what you're cooking ;)

kilax said...

P.S. Mee mee mee mee mee!

Anonymous said...

I prefer the ham & ham hamwich or the Arby's 1/2 lbs all-meat object. (Onion, but I butchered it I think)

I wanted to tell you my idea for a movie sequel:

Ewoks vs. Predator

Think about it.

-Justin

Andrew Skaff said...

That would be the Ham and Melted Ham Hamwich from Arby's or the 6 inch sandwich-shaped all meat object from Subway. Geez, get it right.

Great movie idea. I'll credit you in the screen play, but you won't receive any royalties. Bwah hahahaha!