I am going to do something today that I hadn't previously considered. I planned on having time to write another post today, but instead ended up focusing on the "fight" between myself and Megan (Moflo) in the comment section of the previous post. The "fight" ended up being so hilarious, that I decided to actually post it here as today's entry, since everyone probably does not check out the comments section. The thing that I enjoy most about writing back and forth with Megan is that we distort each other's stories so far that sometimes even I can question what actually happened. If anyone wants to try to piece together the actual events from any of the Megan vs Andrew wars (couples competitions or the comment episode), you are more than welcome to post your thoughts. I am willing to pass on the factual information to anyone with a great desire for the truth. Be warned though, the versions appearing in the blog are much more entertaining. Honestly, the end of this comment war was absolute perfection. It could not have been better. Enjoy!
Moflo said...
You have excellent taste in music, darling. It's not our fault that, being musicians, we have a superior ear for what is Good and what is Very Bad (Kenny Chesney? Are they fucking serious?)
I wouldn't have wasted my money seeing Van Halen in their wheelchairs either, but you should have gone to Danzig with me.
Andrew said...
Maybe I would have seen Danzig with you... but you wouldn't even speak to me at that point.
Moflo said...
Whatever! Just because you only had enough nerve to stare at me like a stalker from down the hallway and leer at me when I wore short skirts doesn't mean I wouldn't have talked to you. And I believe it was I who first talked to you anyway. You wouldn't even invite me into the limo the night of the Christmas party, so there!!
Andrew said...
Hey, hey hey, hey. Leer at you like a stalker? Leering maybe, like a stalker... no. It was only like one time, geez.
I tried to talk to you several times, even in the hours before the Christmas party. I thought of inviting you then - "If she'll talk to me, maybe the Christmas party will come up, then maybe I can invite her for the limo ride." So, I tried, I asked if you needed help setting up the table of refreshments for the pre-Christmas party that involved carrying buckets of ice and multitudes of food and drinks out of various offices - a good opportunity to chat. But you wouldn't even say "no", you just shook your head no like I wasn't even worth a vocal response. But still, I tried again, asking if you needed help taking the stuff back to the offices after the pre-Christmas party was complete... and again, just the shaking of the head.
Pre-Christmas party Megan = absolute refusal to speak to Andrew
So, there, yourself!!
Moflo said...
If I was shaking my head it was because I was BUSY moving all the food and drink from various offices out to Tim's dissertation party and then back again. You were drinking beer and doing tequila shots in the hallway, for Christ's sake. It was quicker and more efficient to just do everything myself. Not to mention the fact that I was distracted by the severe hand injury sustained in shoving the razor sharp beer bottles down into the bucket of ice. I waited around at the stupid dissertation thing, trying to make eye contact with you, smiling at you, hoping you would invite me to go the Christmas party with you later, but you were too drunk to notice me at all. On top of all that, you just now came into my office and tried to get out of buying me lunch by insisting we not eat anything and instead just "go back to my apartment." God only knows what you have in mind. All I know is, you are buying me lunch!
Andrew said...
Point/counterpoint continues...
"BUSY moving all the food and drink" - FALLACY - busy moving cases of beer, one bottle at a time from the office to the hallway - funny how only some of the bottles made it all the way to the ice bucket. I found the stash of empty bottles on your desk in the office.
"You were drinking beer and doing tequila shots in the hallway" - FALLACY - They were shots of bourbon.
"more efficient to just do everything myself" - FALLACY - from part one of this counterpoint- one bottle at a time could not be considered efficient. Accepting someone's help that is capable of opening "heavy" doors would likely increase efficiency dramatically. Someone capable of opening doors would easily be able to carry more than one beer bottle at a time.
"I waited around at the stupid dissertation thing" - FALLACY - waited around from inside the office for everyone to leave, possibly... it would be difficult to make eye contact through a wall. But also easier to slip back out of the office after everyone has left so you could "find all the leftover alcohol a good home".
"you were too drunk to notice me at all" - FALLACY - Who was it that was spotted drooling on the table? Oh wait, that wasn't me... it was you, wasn't it?
"God only knows what you have in mind." - You aren't invited back to my apartment now, but I will have to go back there during the day so I clean up the rotting food from the romantic, gourmet, catered, candlelit meal that I had delivered there so it would be a surprise. Fine, we'll go to that omelet-making restaurant so you can order a cheeseburger again. You win... I guess. Geez.
Moflo said...
"Romantic, gourmet, catered, candlelit meal that I had delivered there" - it is 12:53 in the afternoon and broad daylight. The sun is out. "Candlelit?" Please.
"Drooling on the table" - we won't mention who was weaving up and down the hallway, unable to keep his balance.
Actually, I waive my win. You can have it. In the spirit of generosity, I declare you champion of this battle.
I am keeping your soul, however.
Andrew said...
I am champion! Finally, a win at something! If I were in possession of my soul, maybe I could feel happiness.
Wait, are you just humoring me?
Moflo said...
Bitch, please.
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