"And remember the Jon Hamm's John Ham motto: if it feels like a slice of ham, don't wipe your ass with it." - Jon Hamm
"Hello. You are the biggest badass I know. You have hair like the darkest of burros and skin like a dusty path. You are glorious in combat and you shine like the light of a thousand suns. You belong on an eternal pedestal of badassery and all others cower beneath the shadow of your destruction. I want to be more like you. Adios, amigo." - Cortez Emilio Alejandro Jesus Cardinal
"Ted, Marshall forgot to bring his pants to work today and you're still the stupidest person at the table." - Lily Aldrin
"Head games aren't going to work on me. Unfortunately for you, I have a photographic memory. For instance... I arrived here yesterday at 7:45 am, at 7:50 am I took a nap, at 2:45 pm I awoke to find you plucking a comically large hair from your baby feeder. I then took my afternoon nap, then I went on break, and then I went home... couldn't sleep a wink... damnedest thing." - Janitor
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